How to Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mindset (Holiday Edition)
Have you ever felt like you have to be “perfect” with your diet and exercise in order to lose weight? Or thought, “Well, I just ruined everything!” after a delicious cookie or two (or three, or four…)? Or maybe the classic “Whatever, I’ll just start over on Monday”.
You’re not alone! I was stuck in this self-sabotaging cycle for years and many of my clients were, too, before we started working together. Fortunately, we’re all proof that there is a way out!
But first you need to recognize that these are all symptoms of an “all-or-nothing” mindset and that may very well be one of the biggest things holding you back from reaching your health goals (and finding yourself setting the same New Year’s health resolution year after year).
In the weight loss/diet world, and even in the functional medicine space, I think it is easy to get wrapped up in feeling like you need to do ALL THE THINGS.
Before we dive into a couple of strategies to move through these mindset blocks, I want to give this caveat: It is okay to not start a new goal until the new year or wait until Monday. Sometimes having that time frame or milestone like this (called a temporal landmark) can be really helpful for us to distinguish between our “past selves” and our “new self”.
BUT, and I think this is a really important but, that doesn’t mean you have to throw all your healthy habits out the window until then.
So let’s talk about two things you can do to ditch this all-or-nothing mindset so you can enjoy your holiday season a bit more while still supporting your health.
First I want you to reframe some of your thoughts. The guilt and shame aren’t doing you any good, so let’s work on reframing those.
“Wow I can’t believe I ate all those cookies last night. I better skip the carbs today.” → “The cookies I ate last night were really good. I wonder why I had so many cravings, maybe I need to balance out my meals a bit more today.”
“I can never seem to stick to a diet. I have literally no willpower.” → “What has been my biggest challenge with sticking to a goal? Maybe I need to adjust my approach.”
“I feel disgusting, I haven’t worked out in a week.” → “My life has been a bit busy recently and haven’t been able to exercise as much as I’d like. Because I feel best when I move my body, how can I fit that into my travels and holiday celebrations?”
Reframing those negative thought patterns will not only help you in the moment to free you of guilt and shame, but will help you to better understand yourself and your goals. It is really easy to judge and shame ourselves, but I find it much more impactful when you get curious. This will allow you to build self trust, consistency and ultimately have lasting results.
Second, you don’t have to sacrifice feeling good physically to fully enjoy that holiday dinner party or the family weekend getaway.
With my clients and other women I talk to, I see two things happen when there is a big holiday celebration when you know there is going to be a lot of delicious food.
Skipping meals or eating very little to “save calories” earlier in the day leading up to the event
Saying “I’m going to blow it tonight anyways so I might as well eat all the treats I want today and then get back to my diet tomorrow”
Which camp do you fall into? I’ve been in both at one point or another.
But here's the thing, you don’t have to do either of those. In fact, I highly recommend you don’t. The “saving calories” and skipping meals is more than likely going to backfire where you get to the point of being overly hungry and end up eating more than you would’ve otherwise.
Then the “forget it” mindset is also going to lead to you eating more and most likely leaving you not feeling your best physically throughout the day or the next day. So what if instead, you planned ahead and fit that holiday event into your normal routine? That way you feel good both mentally AND physically.
Remember that one meal or weekend won’t ruin your progress! If you got a flat tire on your way to work you wouldn’t then decide to slash the other three would you? Same thing goes for our meals: if you have 1 meal that is not the most nutritious or maybe a bit indulgent, why do you then have to eat the same way at all the meals?
Balance out your day, enjoy the holiday delicious foods & treats and move on!
If you need more ideas on how to stay consistent and support your metabolism through the holiday season check out this blog post I wrote below.